HOW GOOD ARE YOUR JOB REFERENCES????

How's everyone today?  I hope you're enjoying your day and your butt is feeling better than mine is after sitting at my computer for hours hunting for perspective jobs to apply to.  

Having just sent out my, oh, nine thousandth resume in yet another attempt to find employment, I have to wonder what kind of response perspective employers are getting when they contact my ex-bosses for a reference.  

Now, I do have a list of excellent references from both  previous employers and even clients who seemed to enjoy the work that I did for them.  These are the people whom I refer to when asked to supply references for any job that I apply to, but because I've had such a lack of response, I also have to wonder if the occasional jerk is slipping through.

Like good 'ol "Hilly" in the help, I have had the now "ex" boss (Steve) who, no matter how good a job I did for the yelling, screaming, bullying asshole, and no matter how much of his shit I put up with, and still showed up day in and day out to work my ass off for him, even up until the last moment when I won his company a hard-fought contract that kept his business afloat while I was handed my walking papers.  

After bending over backwards (and what felt like all other kinds of positions too... very dry), why would this "Hilly" person make it his business to talk bad about me to other perspective employers and thus prevent me from being hired by someone else?  It's not like Steve wanted me back to work for him again, so why the hell would it matter to him whether or not I got a job... ANY job with some other company????  

The sad thing is, is that even though I don't still work for this jerk and I am no longer under his thumb, he STILL wants to feel like he controls me and the others who used to work for him.  I have learned that this asshole has done the exact same thing to just about everyone else who used to work for him to the point where he has made an already difficult situation even worse for virtually everyone he has "let go" of, including his ex-personal secretary, Linda, who worked for him for over a decade.  

Not only did he fire her without notice, but he has "bad mouthed" her to anyone who has called for a reference.  It took poor Linda six months to finally find out what Steve was saying about her and learn that it wasn't flattering.  WHY???  She had worked her ass off for him; she had gone in early and stayed late; she had kept his secrets, even from his own wife; and she had done everything he had asked of her, even when it wasn't necessarily legal, yet not only did Steve not give her a good job reference, he made up "reasons" why she was "let go" and why he would not hire her again.  This devastated Linda... just what that sadistic bastard, Steve wanted.

I offered Linda a place on this blog to share her story and unload her wrath, but after two years, she is still so hurt over the whole thing that it's too painful for her to share, which is why I've done it for her.  I say to Linda, don't spend another moment being hurt by that asshole.  Tell him exactly what he can do for you as I've already "told" him:  "EAT MY SHIT"!  and move on to better things. 

I'll be here when Linda and all of Steve's other "victims" are ready, until then for EVERYONE who used to work for Steve:  Steve... EAT MY SHIT!

Be careful who you trust, especially on the job.

I'm writing this for someone who isn't quite ready to explore this blog yet, but is working on it.

Yesterday, my Hubby Tony came home from work very tired and looking very run down.  I asked him how his day went and at first he replied with the standard "fine."  Then I looked deep into his eyes and asked again, "how did your day REALLY go"?  With a bit of hesitation, he finally opened up and once he got started, Tony poured like a waterfall!

He told me that the owner of the company (his name is Barry), has been riding Tony "like a pony" since he started and brow-beat him whenever Barry had the chance. Tony had worked for the company since last Fall and his background and skill in custom woodwork was recognized and applauded by his immediate supervisor, James.  ALL of the other departments loved the improvement and quality of the work that Tony gave them.  However, Barry criticized Tony constantly and never gave him credit for the great work that he did for the company.  Instead of appreciating the custom work that Tony gave them 40+ hours a week, instead Barry made "fun" of Tony's size and it was really starting to beat Tony down.  Barry didn't like Tony and no matter how well Tony did, it wasn't good enough for Barry.

Yesterday Tony's supervisor gave him instructions to cut a piece of wood to 5/16's of an inch and then add two strips of 3/16" laminate on each side (11/16" total).  He was specifically told by his supervisor, James, that the finished product was "not to exceed 3/4". Tony completed the product and presented it to James and then went on to his next project. 

A few minutes later, Barry came up to Tony screaming at the top of his lungs that the finished product was supposed to be 3/4" (12/16") EXACTLY and that Tony's work on the piece was "sub-par!"  Tony tried to explain that James had given him the exact measurements to work with and that Tony had followed those instructions to a tee, but that didn't matter to Barry. He continued to yell and scream at Tony in front of his coworkers, making sure that he accused Tony of substandard work even though the difference was only 1/16th of an inch. 

This broke Tony's heart as he takes pride in his work and even though he knew that he had not only followed James's directions, but that the finished piece of work was something he was proud of. When Tony tried to bring James onto the scene to verify what had happened, James pretended that he didn't know what Tony was talking about, as he averted eye contact and shuffled his feet.  Tony then realized that, much like that horrible character "Hilly Holbrook" from "The Help" lied and made up the story of "Aibileen" stealing from her, Barry had set Tony up to come up with an excuse to fire him.

Sure enough, when poor Tony got up at 5:00AM this morning, fought forty miles of traffic, and dragged himself into a shop where he knew he was no longer wanted, James was waiting for him and informed him that because of the "goof up" that Tony had made yesterday, they were "letting him go."  Again, James could not look Tony in his eyes, for he would had seen the hurt of betrayal, but Tony stood tall (he's 6' 2"... 6' 3" if he doesn't slouch) and like "Aibileen", he packed up his tools and walked out the door, never letting them see his pain. 

Tony was treated worse than a rabid dog, but they were not finished yet. The final indignity is that they didn't even make the effort to have Tony's separation papers and final paycheck ready. He is being forced to drive the forty miles back to those assholes three days from now.  My poor Tony came home seven hours early today feeling like he'd been run over by a truck, and though he'd done nothing wrong, he felt ashamed to face me. I told him not to worry and that we'd find a way to get by.  I told him I was proud of him and that he was a wonderful "Aibileen", even better, I told him to become "Minnie" and give them what they truly deserve.  I told him that this Friday, when we both drive back out to that shop, he can hold his head up high, look Barry AND James in the face, and hollow "EAT MY SHIT!!!"  And mean it!

Welcome to "EAT MY SHIT!"

Howdy and welcome to my new blog site!  My name is Debbi and this is my first blog, ever!  I really didn't even know what "blogging" was until I got the bright idea to investigate into it after I watched that brilliant movie, "The Help."

Along with all of the tender issues that the film addressed was the experience of being forced to work for an obnoxious, mean spirited, ungrateful bully!  And as I identified with several characters who were made to suffer the disrespect and harsh indignities at the hand of their employer, I realized that a lot of folks have been or are currently in the same situation, and most of us never get the chance to express our feelings of degradation and tell said employer EXACTLY what we think of them and their treatment.  

Well, this is your chance!  In this blog is the chance to tell those assholes, bully bosses exactly how you felt and how you feel about their behavior, and how you are treated on the job.  And frankly, it doesn't have to be only employers, though that is the main focus of this blog.  You can use this blog to speak your mind to anyone in your life who is disrespecting and mistreating you.  You can express yourself for whatever situation you are in where you cannot say what you think to that person's face.  

I want this blog to be a place where you can express exactly what you think and feel without reprimand.  Now, I do not promote hate or violence in any form and I do not support carrying out any fantasies of harming anyone, even the assholes.  But what I will and do is support you in a safe place to tell someone to "EAT MY (your) SHIT!" without losing your job, losing your home, and best of all without losing your mind!  

See, for me there have been some horrible people in my life (and lots of great ones too) and most of them have been past employers.  Some of them have treated me more like a slave then an employee and more than one has even threatened me with harm for doing nothing more than putting in a hard day's work.  One of them even threw a stapler at my head and I ducked just in time for it to miss me.  In retrospect, I should have let it hit me 'cause I would own that company now.  That jerk is in the top five employers who can "EAT MY SHIT" and given the chance today, I would still love to tell him so.  But I still need the job reference while I look for work, that isn't such a good idea.  But here I get to serve it up to R.R. and even give him seconds.  I may not get the satisfaction of seeing his reaction, but at least I get to let loose and tell him on "paper", and THIS feels good!  

I want you all to feel good too!  So, with that said, today is the launching of my new blog "EAT MY SHIT" and I hope you all enjoy it and make use of it to express yourself, and tell that son-of-a-bitch boss exactly where to stick it!  Putting it in writing, of course... Have at it!

Debbi